There is only past left to discuss now. the present is giving me hard days and thinking about future gives me sleepless nights .
here,i reflect a lot of what i'm not. I'm not a pessimist by birth and not even my circumstances forced me to change, i just gave up too soon. few years back,when i was struggling with my unauthentic dreams and reality i was a very brave girl then,my thoughts were free, day-dreaming was a part of my time-table .
i thought of doing everything that elderly people considered waste of time/energy . but i thought of my dreams as powerful, very powerful ; i loved being a loner, never had a problem being alone in fact loneliness gave me happiness because there used to be nobody to dominate . just like a true leo i was powerful, brave,boastful and in demand , loved by all , a true friend of those who wished to be with me . i grew up being a center of attraction everywhere and every time . i never had to struggle for being loved .
being loved sounds alien now , and 'love' in itself seems like a myth . i always believed in unconditional love but always failed whenever tried it and as you grow up, nobody but only your inner-self teaches you a lot many things , whenever you love unconditionally , you are misused , and all the care and concern people show for you ends . you become one boring person for them, you'll be used and then misused . and then- to be taken for granted phase starts and stagnation of this sort is he worst thing that can happen to you . your inner self that becomes your great teacher always stops you every-time you dispose yourself for the less . the internal conflict that tears you apart internally gives you pain and you get hurt .
every time you get hurt , remember its not because somebody else could hurt you but its you who lets yourself get hurt , because nothing outside you is as strong as your 'self' to give you pain or hurt you .
so, whenever there's a feeling of hurt ...give yourself a break , pause and think deeply about whats happening and you'll get a direction . or wait till you get a signal .
and even if then it gets hard to accept reality do the following things :
1. self instructions - our unconscious mind is a very powerful tool . keep telling yourself that 'i'll let myself happen only good things'' and 'NOT WHAT I FIND TEMPTING'' .
2. experiment - get out of your comfort zone.remove stagnation ,go back to from where you started .
3.break that string-i'm sure whenever it gets hard to stick, we all try to move on but that emotional string pulls you back . Be adamant .
4.mask Happiness-wear a mask of a happy face and sooner or later it will become a part of our original personality .
5. love yourself-move on and pat yourself because in the past you did what was the best possible for you .
there is no failure, only feedback .
6. its just a bend,not the end .
I've been through a lot .
i lost hope a few months back
i totally forgot what i was when i was real .
i got caught in unreal things .
i'm turning ''back to being real'' now . I've started dreaming again .sound contradictory , but when you stop dreaming only then you become unreal. . I've started loving myself again and trust me this is the best thing you can do with yourself .
love yourself selflessly . sounds contradictory.but its possible.
follow your dreams ,follow your inner self , never let that smile go away .
because there is no other ''you'' in this world . and for you everybody else should be secondary . if once you lose yourself there is nothing as sinful an act as losing yourself.
here,i reflect a lot of what i'm not. I'm not a pessimist by birth and not even my circumstances forced me to change, i just gave up too soon. few years back,when i was struggling with my unauthentic dreams and reality i was a very brave girl then,my thoughts were free, day-dreaming was a part of my time-table .
i thought of doing everything that elderly people considered waste of time/energy . but i thought of my dreams as powerful, very powerful ; i loved being a loner, never had a problem being alone in fact loneliness gave me happiness because there used to be nobody to dominate . just like a true leo i was powerful, brave,boastful and in demand , loved by all , a true friend of those who wished to be with me . i grew up being a center of attraction everywhere and every time . i never had to struggle for being loved .
being loved sounds alien now , and 'love' in itself seems like a myth . i always believed in unconditional love but always failed whenever tried it and as you grow up, nobody but only your inner-self teaches you a lot many things , whenever you love unconditionally , you are misused , and all the care and concern people show for you ends . you become one boring person for them, you'll be used and then misused . and then- to be taken for granted phase starts and stagnation of this sort is he worst thing that can happen to you . your inner self that becomes your great teacher always stops you every-time you dispose yourself for the less . the internal conflict that tears you apart internally gives you pain and you get hurt .
every time you get hurt , remember its not because somebody else could hurt you but its you who lets yourself get hurt , because nothing outside you is as strong as your 'self' to give you pain or hurt you .
so, whenever there's a feeling of hurt ...give yourself a break , pause and think deeply about whats happening and you'll get a direction . or wait till you get a signal .
and even if then it gets hard to accept reality do the following things :
1. self instructions - our unconscious mind is a very powerful tool . keep telling yourself that 'i'll let myself happen only good things'' and 'NOT WHAT I FIND TEMPTING'' .
2. experiment - get out of your comfort zone.remove stagnation ,go back to from where you started .
3.break that string-i'm sure whenever it gets hard to stick, we all try to move on but that emotional string pulls you back . Be adamant .
4.mask Happiness-wear a mask of a happy face and sooner or later it will become a part of our original personality .
5. love yourself-move on and pat yourself because in the past you did what was the best possible for you .
there is no failure, only feedback .
6. its just a bend,not the end .
I've been through a lot .
i lost hope a few months back
i totally forgot what i was when i was real .
i got caught in unreal things .
i'm turning ''back to being real'' now . I've started dreaming again .sound contradictory , but when you stop dreaming only then you become unreal. . I've started loving myself again and trust me this is the best thing you can do with yourself .
love yourself selflessly . sounds contradictory.but its possible.
follow your dreams ,follow your inner self , never let that smile go away .
because there is no other ''you'' in this world . and for you everybody else should be secondary . if once you lose yourself there is nothing as sinful an act as losing yourself.
